Sunday, 27 May 2012

What is 'my thing'?

I really feel as though something is lacking in my life, I'm searching and searching for that thing that defines me.  I guess I always thought it would be, being a mother.  I know in many respects it's not a great thing to define you either - as a friend once said to me - why is something the vast majority of people do seen as being so special? (She has children).  Yet being a mother is quite socially acceptable as a thing to define you.  As I've probably said here before  - I never wanted to be a career woman, so I really don't want my work/job/career to define me.  So what else is there.....Maybe I'm not going to have one big thing in my life that says - Here I am, look what I've achieved.  I think that concerns me, I feel the need to have something I'm proud of, something I've achieved, something tangible the world can see.  I would love to hear from other childless women about what they believe defines them, their thoughts on this subject and just the important things in their life that 'replace children'.


  1. I have always done a lot of different things - and while my current career has taken off really nicely - I still wouldn't say it is my thing. But at the same time, it definitely defines me. That, my relationship w/my husband, my friendships, my travels, and my interests. I love to travel so much, and while I can't have children, I am excited to go see parts of the world that I might have never made it to if I had had kids.

    So, for me, it isn't really one big thing - but a bunch of things that I enjoy and that add up to making me feel fulfilled. Some people have one great thing, other people have many. I think whatever works for you is totally valid.

  2. Thanks Nicole, I always find it interesting to hear what is important to people in their lives, especially the childfree who I think have to often dig a bit deeper and search a bit harder.

  3. Am still trying to work this one out. But I am coming to the conclusion that a variety of 'things' might be 'my thing'. I recently panicked when I realised that I would be stuck doing this one job/career for the rest of my life, as that's just 'what I do' (and it's easy for mum's to say what you do is not that special... but if you remind them that mothering is what they 'do' then they'd say it was special after all....) But I am slowly starting to realise that when I had variety (include a random cascade of failed attempts at different careers) they are all a part of me. All a part of 'my thing' and I guess if I zone in on just one career path, or one 'thing' I will not be satisfied.

    We have to remember - we are not exactly tied down to schedules like parentals are for the longest term. Variety is a good thing. I'll be happy to have a go at a few more different things, and maybe repeat some of my favourites.

    And as I haven't won the lottery, travelling the world is a little ways off. But don't underestimate a good weekend road trip!

    I hope you can identify many different things that make you feel sustained (as I am trying to also). Best wishes.


  4. Thanks Jen,

    Love your comment, I think the idea of having variety is certainly something you can do when you don't have children. Best of luck with having a go at many different things.